Way back when (July 2022 to be exact), I wrote a blog / newsletter “Beyond the Will”. I called it “Part 1”, knowing that there was a lot more to say than I could include there. I planned to write a “Part II” including even more estate planning tasks that Personal Money Manager™ does with older adult clients.
For those who have waited with bated breath . . .your wait is over! Today’s topic is side letters. (I’ll call it Part 2, and I promise to share additional estate planning and settling ideas in the future).
Side letters are the documents (formal and informal) my senior clients are encouraged to complete that indicate who should get which items of their personal property. Their beauty lies in the fact that they can be edited and changed as often as a client likes without having to confer with an attorney.
Working with older adults, I’ve helped them think through their estate plans (before and after finalizing them with their attorneys) and helped families settle and unwind estates after clients have passed. With clients, I help confirm that assets are correctly titled, streamline and organize papers, and encourage them to leave written instructions (a side letter) to help smooth the process for those left behind.
Laws governing trusts and estates vary by state. A side letter may have to be written or signed in a specific way to be binding–or may not even have legal weight in your state. It’s always best to confer with an attorney about your state’s legal standard.
Even if it’s not binding, a side letter can guide the fiduciary tasked with finding appropriate homes for the things left behind. An attorney colleague suggests listing anything of economic value and “things that you think family might fight over” in your will itself. But items of lesser emotional or financial value can be included instead in a side letter. Here, clients can guide the distribution of their personal property to family and friends. It can ease the burden on fiduciaries who need to dispose of lots of stuff often on a tight schedule.
My professional organizing colleagues–who deal with the “stuff” while Personal Money Manager™ handles paperwork only–agree. Donating and worse case, trashing, possessions, or putting them into storage to deal with later, can be cumbersome and costly. So would having heirs tussle over the stuff. And not the legacy clients wish to leave. Instead, sharing that they would like to leave grandma’s challah bowl to a niece or a favorite rug to a friend who always admires it is preferable. They may even decide to gift these items sooner rather than later–and experience firsthand the recipient’s delight.
Don’t use a sticky note in place of a letter! While temporary labels might make sense during the sorting process, they don’t stand up over time.
At the other end of the spectrum, digital options include FairSplit and Pinventory, worth investigating for documenting larger collections and ways to make a complete accounting of possessions. Books on the topic include The Boomer Burden by Julie Hall and Vickie Dellaquila’s Don’t Toss my Memories in the Trash.
Not quite ready to divvy things up? I encourage clients to start small by documenting the story behind meaningful items. Don’t assume everyone knows that a dented teapot earned its wear and tear through many years and generations of afternoon teas. The story is easy to share widely; the item itself, not so much.
Clients may even find that once they’ve told its story, and perhaps snapped a picture of it, too, they no longer worry about where an item goes next. They can free yourself to gift it now to a friend or stranger knowing its story lives on.
While Personal Money Manager™ helps clients only with paper organizing, some of my favorite blogs are about dealing with the “stuff” of life—my own and my clients’. Click here for Family Treasures, Does Your Stuff have an Exit Ramp, Trash or Treasures, Our Memories are Not in our Things, and Finding Memories on the Back of an Envelope.
Photo credit: ID 144044964 © Denys Sanko | Dreamstime.com